Can I have a petty self pity party?

I was in TEARS this morning. I am in that in between stage of my pregnancy where I just feel UGLY.

I feel fat, I'm getting pasty (I'm a tanner - I know..bad but I love it), my face is broken out worse than a teenager and my husband hates the dark color on my hair.

So I just feel all sorts of ugly and unattractive and I was whining about it this morning that I feel fat, pimply, pasty and gross. and all my husband says is........you shouldn't mess with your hair when you're pregnant. You shouldn't be doing that with the chemicals. Then he goes on to add that I also shouldn't eat shellfish (shrimp), game (deer meat) --which by the way I only ate that stuff once before it was back up. Oh and that I shouldn't drink soda (which I can count on one hand how many I've had since I found out I was pregnant).

Not once did he say you're still pretty to me or try to make me feel better. In fact, I feel he confirmed that he finds me just as unattractive as I feel. Ugh.....I cried all the way to work that he just made me feel even uglier.

Men suck sometimes.

Thanks for letting me vent. I shouldn't air my laundry but I'm just struggling with this part of the pregnancy.

oH Sweetie,

I really felt your pain reading this and I so wish I could be there to give you a GREAT big hug.
Hang in there.......

Concentrate on enjoying this moment
This life that is growing inside of you...... this is an AMAZING MIRACLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When you wake up make it a purposeful day. That every thing is about this miracle growing inside you
and than one day you will wake up and your outside will match the inside !!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to see belly pics, etc

Don't let the comments take away from what is really happening...... Life !

I love you tons and just wish I could be there to watch it as it happens !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s I adore your dark hair..looks so healthy and beautiful !!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxo

Norma! Thank you for such beautiful words! That made me feel gazillion times better!!!! And you are soooooooooo right. Big hugs back to you! I really needed those words!

I need to concentrate on the beauty of being an incubator for life not dwell on the things I can do nothing about right now. Thank you for putting that all back in perspective for me!

From this moment on - that self pity party is being swept under the rug.


I love you!!!!

where's the like button on this thing! Norma, you're absolutely right! Listen to this woman Renee!

Girl, your hormones are all outta whack and will be for months...once you get outta the first trimester ...things "should" start looking up for ya. Just know that any flaw that you find with yourself (which by the way are completely unwarranted about being ugly and fat..you're cute as a button) is temporary. It's ALL because you're giving and growing life. it's gonna be an absolutely amazing journey to get your u/s and feeling the first kicks and the constant wiggling...all of that, in my mind, surpasses and outweighs ANY of the temporary whoas of pregnancy. Hope ya feel better ...go kick your hubby in the shin. Cause eventhough he's not saying it..he adores the fact that you're pregnant with his child. My husband was a meanie (not really but not a mushy dude by any stretch of the imagination) too...but i would wake some nights to find him rubbing my big ole stretch mark belly trying to feel the baby kick...that's what its all about...

I'm so glad you're feeling better... bad DH! lol Hugs to you!

Thank you Suzanne! And as much as men suck - we stay around because the good always outweigh the bad......

but HELL....doesn't he know I'm an emotional trainwreck right now and need him to be a bit more sympathetic??? Can he not read my mind or in the very LEAST keep his mouth shut???

All I can say is THANK THE LORD for awesome friends like y'all in my life who have to put up with my mental issues right now and let me sound like a crazy woman! bwahahahahahahahaaha -- I swear I'm not usually this unstable

awwww hugs my friend. you look gorgeous w/your hair. it makes your eyes pop. some men think that would be sympathetic. sigh. ignore that. being PG is gorgeous and so are you.

Aww Renee, Norma said it all perfectly! You are absolutely beautiful! What you're feeling is just the effects of pregnancy ups and downs! I promise, it'll get better....once your little tummy starts growing and you feel life fluttering inside you, it'll make everything worth while.

And I'm sure hubby didn't mean to hurt you....Unfortunately, they're just not as sensitive as we are most of the time and don't understand what we need especially during pregnancy.

Hope you're feeling better! It's nice to know we all have friends here who support us and encourage us when we need it!

Hugs!

renee, just now reading this ....

just because i'm an oldie, and could be your mother, i wanna come over and take your hubby's face in my hands like i use to do with my boys, and say, "listen, hon, this is how it is with us girls when we're pregnant ..." .... and then give him a few words of wisdom that guys just DO NOT get!

reality is, you know he loves ya ... he {and all other men} just don't have a clue how to read us girls.

you're a beauty... always ... no matter what your hair color, or no matter you weigh. BEAUTY...hear me?

i hope tomorrow is 100% better for you!!!

Today is going to be a GOOD DAY!
...no one said being pregnant was easy...but trust me you need to enjoy it!
You definitely won't like every minute of it...but its a very precious time that you and you alone share with your child...

You are BEAUTIFUL!!! ...even when you feel like you aren't...I love your dark hair

<>

I totally identify with you on the emotional thing- my youngest is 2 and I remember being sooooo depressed about how I looked like it was yesterday!

but.

as everyone has said. you are beautiful!! a miracle is growing and the man that got you that way should be and IS so proud of his woman.

have you started your pregnancy journal? take loads of photos. you'll look back and see how you glowed.

All woman are beautiful just the way God made us. It's just the nasty hormones that get to us. Sometimes we need a good cry too. I threw up for the first 4 months straight of my pregnancy so I felt ugly and sick. Hang in there...it gets better!

you girls are certainly the best! And I mean that!!! I can't tell ya how awesome y'all made me feel so THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

And I realized that my hormones are just going to torture me but I had a great weekend and a good talk with the hub so I am back to my good ol' jolly self - today anyway. bwahahahahaha

((((((HUGS))))))))) Yeah, men really don't get it...when it comes to this stuff they can be kind of clueless lol!! First trimester was always the hardest for me...but once the second trimester hits you will feel SO much better

That's good to hear. I'm only 3 short days away from officially being in my 2nd trimester. yay! I think I'm definitely feeling better about things. It helps that I talked to the hub and he's been awesome the past few days. I guess that's a clue for me to just speak up. Who knew right? hahahaha

Girl, it won't be long... you will feel beautiful in no time! Heck... the times when I was pregnant were truly the ONLY times I felt beautiful!! Enjoy this time, because it is full of nothing but beautiful miracles, Renee! Sorry hubby is pulling that shit on ya! They can suck like that at times, lol!

Awww, glad to hear that you & the hubs were able to work it out. It just stinks when you both can't be on the same wavelength of sensitivity.

CarrieF. wrote:

renee, just now reading this ....

just because i'm an oldie, and could be your mother, i wanna come over and take your hubby's face in my hands like i use to do with my boys, and say, "listen, hon, this is how it is with us girls when we're pregnant ..." .... and then give him a few words of wisdom that guys just DO NOT get!

i was thinking this, too! though your words are a lot kinder than mine would have been, carrie!


gosh, girl. if you do all those things that ppl say you should you will LOSE YOUR MIND. I ate tuna once with owen and beat myself up over it for the remaining 6 months and he is fine. did you tell him how you felt when he was doing that? he's a man so sometimes they need to be reminded of how dumb they are.

for me, the first trimester was the emotional one b/c your pregnant and you feel pregnant (puking, sleeping etc) but you don't look pregnant, kwim? AND you can't have a big fat wine when you really need it!!! LOL!

Renee! Go look in a mirror, you're beautiful, both inside and out!

So there.

ellen s wrote:

for me, the first trimester was the emotional one b/c your pregnant and you feel pregnant (puking, sleeping etc) but you don't look pregnant, kwim? AND you can't have a big fat wine when you really need it!!! LOL!

Lori - I love you!

And Ellen - this totally had me LMAO. You are sooooooooooooo right. I am actually keeping the emotional rollercoaster more in check and am embracing the pregnancy. All y'alls words really sunk in and I think my confidence has shown through to DH too. He's been great since.

And Ellen - I never gave up my tuna - I still have it like 3x a week! bwahahahahaha - hey - as long as everything continues to go good - I am NOT giving up my tuna!

Renee, do you watch Grey's Anatomy? On the last episode, Callie said "I'm a hormone casserole!" LOL! Can you relate?

{{{hugs}}}

Lori Ness wrote:

Renee, do you watch Grey's Anatomy? On the last episode, Callie said "I'm a hormone casserole!" LOL! Can you relate?

{{{hugs}}}

bwahahahaha -YES!!! What's so funny is Tom was watching it with me and he kinda had that light bulb go off! hahahahaha

That episode I totally related to because I had just gone through some of those exact emotions! That was classic. (minus the whole lesbian lover, baby daddy part of course!)

yea what andrea, lori and ellen said! glad to see you're embracing it girl!